


Every Dog Has Its Day

by orphan_account



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dog Shenanigans, F/M, Gen, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-05 08:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5368913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Although Roy's a little miffed that Lieutenant Hawkeye's new dog won't listen to him, it's nothing he can't handle- until he's left in charge of watching Black Hayate one afternoon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Dog Has Its Day

**Author's Note:**

> MY FIRST FMA FIC LET'S GO
> 
> jamie (naomimisoras on tumblr/queensmooting on ao3) asked for roy/riza set right after riza adopts black hayate, and dog fic is always something i'm more than happy to write. the royai here ended up being more implied/pre-relationship than anything concrete, but i still had a lot of fun with this prompt! anything to honor black hayate, the true hero of fullmetal alchemist.
> 
> title is cheesy as all hell because arakawa beat me to the "dog of the military" pun. enjoy!!!

For the first time since she’d started working in the Amestrian military, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye hasn’t shown up to work alone.

“Lieutenant, what is he doing here?” Roy asks, staring suspiciously at the newcomer.

The newcomer stares back at Roy, and barks happily.

“He’s my dog now,” Hawkeye says nonchalantly. “Is there a rule against dogs in the workplace, sir?”

“Not officially, but…” Roy furrows his brows. “When you said he was yours, I didn’t know that meant he was coming to work with you.”

“He seemed nervous when I left him alone at home yesterday,” Hawkeye says, “so I thought I’d bring him here today, especially since he’s still adjusting to living with me. But if it’s too much trouble to have him here, I could always bring him back.”

Roy nearly smiles, thinking back to the tender look he’d seen on Hawkeye’s face when she’d first held the dog and announced she was going to keep him. Hawkeye’s stoic exterior is usually impenetrable during work- unless she’s laughing at the shenanigans the rest of the team gets up to during breaks. So whenever Roy catches a glimpse of her softer side, he treasures it.

“Looking out for your new dog, I see,” remarks Roy. “All right, we’ll try and keep him here today and see how it goes. Just keep an eye on...what’s his name again?”

“Black Hayate.”

The dog barks sharply, and Hawkeye leans down and pets him on the head. “Good boy, Hayate.”

“Black Hayate.” Roy nods, trying his hardest not to grimace. He could’ve picked a much less ridiculous name. Still, it’s impressive the pup already responds to it. “Make sure he doesn’t get into any trouble, or disrupt our work.”

Lieutenant Hawkeye rolls her eyes and nods. “Yes, sir. And Hayate’s certainly not the only one in this room who’s capable of disrupting our work.”

Roy’s contemplating a response to _that_ , when an explosive shout completely interrupts his train of thought.

“I see Breda’s arrived,” Roy remarks drily. He turns to face the doorway, where the valiant Second Lieutenant is taking refuge behind Havoc’s shoulder.

“W-what is the dog doing here?” Breda asks, trembling.

“The First Lieutenant has brought him to work today out of the goodness of her heart,” Roy says, putting a hand to his chest. He notes Hawkeye’s eye-roll in response to that statement, and he’s delighted.

Breda glares suspiciously at Black Hayate, who’s sniffing the floor as if his life depends on it.

“Well, if he’s got to be here, keep him a fifty-foot radius from me at all times,” Breda says finally. 

“I will definitely keep him away from your corner,” Hawkeye replies, “for your safety and your comfort.”

Roy can practically see the relief washing over Breda’s face. “ _Thank you_ , Lieutenant. You saved my life.” He gives Hayate one last suspicious look, then walks over to his desk and proceeds to scooch it in the opposite direction of the dog.

Havoc, meanwhile, has bent over and started scratching Hayate on the back, baby-talking him. “Who’s a good doggie? You’re a good doggie! Yes you are. I was totally kidding when I said I’d eat you, I hope everyone knows that. You’re too cute to eat. Good doggie!” Hayate barks happily and starts licking Havoc’s hand.

“Funny,” Roy says. “That dog seems to like you better than most of your previous girlfriends.”

Roy will probably remember Havoc’s deflated expression in response for the rest of his days.

After everyone’s settled in and greeted the new arrival, Roy takes a seat at his desk and oversees the work room; from Breda glaring across the room, to Havoc looking gloomy and hopefully still smarting from Roy’s comment, to Hawkeye working diligently at her desk as usual, this time with the small black-and-white dog at her side.

 _So begins Black Hayate’s first day in East City,_ Roy thinks to himself as he glances at Fuery, who seems to be trying to start a peek-a-boo game with Hayate from across the room. _And possibly his last_.

* * *

 

“I must admit, Lieutenant, your dog behaved surprisingly well today.”

Roy and Lieutenant Hawkeye had been the last two out of the office that day, packing up their things. Roy secretly likes it when it’s just them, since Hawkeye is never usually up for making conversation during work hours. When they’re both in the mood for talking, they’ve had some pretty nice conversations.

“He did,” Hawkeye said, giving Hayate another pat on the head. “I could tell he was a little overwhelmed at the beginning, with all of the people around. But he got used to it. And with the exception of Second Lieutenant Breda, everyone seemed to enjoy his company.”

“Yes, they definitely did.”

Their coworkers were certainly charmed by Black Hayate...perhaps _too_ charmed. Havoc and Falman made all sorts of excuses to walk by the First Lieutenant’s desk, claiming they had an “important message” for her or “needed her to look at something”. However, Roy noticed they’d spent most of their time letting Hayate lick their hands or rubbing his belly instead of actually talking to Lieutenant Hawkeye.

And during lunchtime, he’d caught Sergeant Fuery sneaking Black Hayate bits of his ham sandwich. Thankfully, Lieutenant Hawkeye had put a stop to that one before Roy had to himself. “If he starts eating people food, he won’t be able to settle for dog food,” she’d said, looking at Fuery sternly. “No more feeding your lunch to Black Hayate for now on.”

Roy had also seen Hawkeye give Black Hayate a dog treat after he’d whined in mourning of his lost sandwich. That had been one office act he’d let slide.

“Do you think he was too much of a distraction?” Hawkeye purses her lips. “Breda might never speak to me again if Hayate’s still hanging around. And Havoc, Falman, and Fuery seemed more focused on the dog than their work.”

There had also been that incident where Roy had told Hayate to move out of the way while he was getting up for more paper, and Hayate had growled at him. But Roy doesn't particularly want to discuss that.

“They’ll get used to him, in time,” Roy says. “I think it’s good that he’s around more people. After all, he’s an _actual_ dog of the military now. If he can handle East City headquarters, he’ll be up for any mission you take him on.”

“And he’ll probably complain much less than we do,” Hawkeye says.

“Unless he’s hungry.”

“I’ll train him to not even complain then. Mark my words.”

Roy didn't doubt that Hawkeye would. He likes these little moments after work, catching conversations with his coworkers before they all went their separate ways. For a little bit, at least, the pressure of work is gone, and they can just spend time together as friends.

“Well, this is my turn,” Hawkeye says. “See you tomorrow, Colonel.”

“Until tomorrow, Lieutenant.” Roy pauses. “Black Hayate.”

The dog looks up and barks again- already so well-trained! Unbelievable! And maybe Roy’s imagining it, but it definitely looked like Hayate’s eyeing him suspiciously.

Well, two can play at that game. Roy isn't so sure how much he trusts this canine either.

* * *

 

The next few days pass as normally as they could with a dog in the office. Black Hayate grows more and more accustomed to the building every day, and is content to sit in a corner, gnaw on a bone, and occasionally be petted or talked to by Hawkeye, Havoc, Fuery, or Falman. Breda’s accepted that as long as he stays away from the dog, it will not hurt him. Hawkeye even has started letting Hayate out on small walks outside the building, and he comes back inside unfailingly when he’s hungry or just wants attention.

And Roy’s trying his best. He really is. Admittedly, he’s a little miffed that Hayate always runs away when Roy tries to pet him, and occasionally prances around his desk sniffing at the floor, even when Roy tells him to go away. And there had been one horrible incident where Roy had taken his shoes off under his desk to air out his feet, and found Hayate chewing on them minutes later. He’s not sure whether that or the smelly feet joke Havoc had made afterwards was more embarrassing.

But Roy doesn’t want to make a big deal about it. “Lieutenant Hawkeye, I think your dog hates me” doesn’t seem like a proper work complaint. Maybe Hayate’s still holding a grudge from the time Roy had spun him around the room- which, admittedly, may have been a little extreme. The best he can do is just sit at his desk, focus on his work, and let other people deal with Black Hayate.

Which is easy enough, until one afternoon.

“I’m sorry, Lieutenant, you need me to _what_?”

Hawkeye looks apologetic. “I have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon after my lunch break, and completely forgot to ask one of my neighbors to watch Hayate. If it’s not too much trouble...could you watch him until I come back? He’s been very well-behaved for the last couple of days, someone just needs to make sure he’s not getting into any trouble.”

Roy prepares to refuse. He’s a colonel in the Amestrian military, on his way to becoming Fuhrer, not some kind of dogsitter. Plus, he still feels like the puppy has it out for him. No. He absolutely won’t, even if it’s for the Lieutenant. He can feel his will crumbling by the second, but he must stand his ground. He absolutely will _not_...

“Fine.” _Damn it, Mustang, you’re weak as hell._ “I guess I can keep an eye on the pup for a few hours.”

“Thank you, Colonel,” Hawkeye says, clearly relieved. She gives Hayate one last belly rub, announces her dismissal, and exits the office.

Hayate immediately starts whining.

“Well,” Roy says to the dog, “looks like it’s you and me for the afternoon, huh?”

Hayate’s lack of enthusiasm is astounding. He continues to whine.

“That’s no way to act,” Roy says. “Hanging out with me is a good thing. People all over Amestris are begging to have me at their parties.”

Unfortunately, Black Hayate is a dog who can’t understand Roy’s marvelous conversational skills. He simply flops down on his stomach and starts gnawing on one of the rawhide bones Hawkeye had bought to keep him occupied.

“Right. Well, I’d better not waste the rest of my day talking to a dog. Time for me to do work, and you to do...whatever you do around here. As long as it’s quiet.”

Roy makes his way to his desk, mentally preparing himself for the dreaded mountain of papers he’s got to sign. And now he’s got a dog to watch too- although he’s hoping that Black Hayate will just keep gnawing on his bone and not bothering him until the First Lieutenant gets back.

* * *

 

After about thirty minutes and many small stretch breaks, Roy’s signed a grand total of five papers. He sighs, stops slouching over the top of his desk and resumes his seated position, and then pulls out another one. Roy takes a pen out and slowly begins to write his name in the signature box.

 _C-O-L-O-N-E-L R-O-Y M-U…_

Suddenly, he feels paws on his leg, and the unmistakeable feel of a dog’s nose sniffing him.

Roy looks down at the dog, who seems to smell something very interesting on Roy’s pant leg. “Black Hayate, when did you get here? And what are you doing?”

Hayate barks in response, which isn’t a very helpful explanation.

“Well, I don’t have food or anything for you, so you’re going to have to sit down or go somewhere else for now,” Roy said, as he gently nudges the dog off his leg. Hayate whimpers, but sits back down and starts nosing at something on the floor.

Begrudgingly, Roy swings his arm back to his desk and tries to focus on the matter at hand. One paper down, a million more to go. Two papers down, a little less than a million more to go. Three papers down…

The paws on his leg and sniffing sounds are back. Roy sighs, and faces Black Hayate with his best disapproving expression.

“Hayate, no,” Roy commands, nudging him down again. “Let me do my work.”

The dog pants back at him, seemingly unfazed.

“Having a little trouble over there, sir?” Jean Havoc grins as he passes by Roy’s desk. “Need any help?”

Roy’s eyes narrowed. “Lieutenant Havoc, I believe Lieutenant Hawkeye assigned me the duty of watching this dog. You have nothing to worry about. We’re doing fine.”

“All right, Colonel.” Havoc continues to grin as he walks back to his own desk. “It’s good to see that you two are bonding.”

Roy glares at Hayate, who’s rolling on the ground innocently. “Good,” Roy addresses the dog, as he turns back to his paperwork. “Stay there.”

He only signs _one_ paper before Hayate is no longer content with staying there, and puts his paws on Roy’s leg yet again. Roy mourns his lack of dog treats, wishing he’d thought to ask Lieutenant Hawkeye for them. Maybe that would get Hayate to stop bothering him.

“Look.” Roy puts on his best Colonel voice as he gives Hayate a reluctant scratch on the head. Time to break out the big guns. “I can’t play with you right now, and I don't have any food. In a few hours, Lieutenant Hawkeye will be back, and she’ll give you some treats. But for now, I’m going to sign some papers, so I need you to sit quietly until I’m done. Could you do that for me?”

In response, and before Roy realizes what’s happening, Hayate jumps onto Roy’s lap.

Roy looks at his lap- which had not been full of dog a few seconds ago, but was now extremely full of dog- and tries to comprehend the situation. Hayate pants back at him, paces in a circle for a few minutes, and then curls up to lie down, looking extremely comfortable. And...oh, lord, Roy would never say this out loud, especially considering the awful distraction Black Hayate’s being, but the dog _is_ pretty cute curled up like that.

“Well, all right,” Roy says, trying his best not to sound defeated. “You can stay there, as long as you’re quiet and don’t bother me.” He’s quite aware of someone watching him, and shoots Havoc, Fuery, and Falman a weak thumbs-up before resuming paper-signing.

Although it’s a tedious task and takes a great deal of Roy’s willpower, once he falls into a rhythm of paper-signing it really isn’t so bad. Hayate appears to be content, snoozing in Roy’s lap, and while he moved his paws a few times, having him there isn’t that much of a disruption. Soon, Roy gets half his pile done, and decides to give himself a little bit of a break before tackling the other half. He stretches out his arms, leans back in his chair…

_Whoosh._

Roy isn’t sure if it’s the strange emptiness in his lap or the sound of papers scattering that makes him look up. Dread growing in the pit of his stomach, he opens his eyes to see Hayate standing on top of his desk, sniffing the various folders and pens like they’re flowers or bags of garbage in the park.

And he also sees his pile of papers. Or, rather, _former_ pile of papers, for what had once been stacked neatly in two piles- signed and unsigned- is now a mess of scattered paper across his desk and the floor, all semblance of order forgotten.

Roy presses his palm to his face. “Hayate…” He tries to make his voice commanding, but it just sounds hopeless.

Meanwhile, Hayate sits on the desk, gnawing on one of the pieces of paper like he has no idea what’s happening.

Lieutenant Havoc snickers. Of course, he’d been watching the whole time. Roy faces him, eyebrows raised, too defeated to really glare. “Well? Do you have any suggestions?”

“I thought watching Black Hayate was your responsibility. You said everything was completely under control,” Havoc says with a smirk.

Roy gestures to the mess of papers on floor. “I...may have overestimated my dogsitting abilities. Just a tad.”

“Uh-huh.” Havoc’s clearly on the brink of laughter. “I’ll see what I can do, Colonel. But you’re cleaning up all of those papers on your own.”

Roy doesn’t even protest. He gets up from his chair and slowly, painfully, embraces his fate.

* * *

 

At about four o’clock, Black Hayate announces Lieutenant Hawkeye’s return by barking and running excitedly to the door.

“First Lieutenant Hawkeye reporting back on duty, sir,” says Hawkeye as she scoops up her dog. Then, she turns to face Roy and gives him a salute. So formal, but so things must be.

Roy nods. “Welcome back, Lieutenant.”

“I hope all was well here.” Hawkeye surveys the room, as if she’d been afraid something had exploded in her absence. Which...isn’t really an irrational fear, come to think of it. “Did everything go well with Black Hayate?”

Hayate barks after hearing his name, and a loud snort comes from the direction of Havoc’s desk. Roy chooses to pretend he did not hear it.

“I wouldn’t say he behaved himself,” Roy says. “He kept putting his paws on my leg and climbed up on my lap, and then climbed onto my desk and knocked over all of my papers. It was very unpleasant.”

“Oh dear,” Hawkeye says, smile twitching at the corner of her lips. Although Roy’s always glad to see her smiling, he appreciates it much more when it doesn’t feel like she’s going to laugh at him. “That...must’ve been very difficult. I’ll have to train him to stop jumping into strangers’ laps.”

“It’s all right.” Roy dramatically feigns wiping sweat off his brow. “I had everything under control.”

Another snort from Havoc, which Roy continues to pretend did not happen.

“I’m sure you did.” Hawkeye nods, still with that same small half-smile. “I have complete faith in you, Colonel.”

“He had to ask me for help,” Havoc stage-whispers. “The dog practically had him groveling at my feet. He was hopeless, until I intervened with my great taking-care-of-dogs powers.”

Roy answers that remark with an extensive glare at Havoc, who beams at him. He hears Hawkeye stifle a laugh, and he turns back to her, smiling as casually as he could. “He’s exaggerating,” Roy says, “although...I may have needed a little bit of help.”

“It’s all right if you needed help,” Hawkeye says, clearly amused. “Taking care of a dog is a big challenge. Not everyone’s up for the task.” She smirks at Roy, scratches Hayate behind the ears and carries him back to her seat. “Come on, Hayate, let’s get some work done before it’s time for us to go home. I’ve got a treat for you as a reward for surviving an afternoon with the Colonel and Second Lieutenant.”

Roy can’t help looking at the rest of his team, who are all grinning at him, Havoc’s grin by far the widest. It’s official, today is clearly not his day. He re-immerses himself in his work, grateful that at least his humiliation is the only distraction this time.

* * *

 

“So, how did you get Hayate to stop giving you attention?” Lieutenant Hawkeye asks him as they walk together out of work, Black Hayate following close behind. “Besides calling on Havoc for help.”

Roy grimaces. “I really wish he hadn’t put it like that,” he says. “And, for the record, he doesn’t have great dog-caring-powers or whatever. That’s a lie. But I got Lieutenant Havoc to distract him and keep him entertained while I cleaned up the papers that he’d knocked over, and then…”

He pauses. Lieutenant Hawkeye _really_ isn’t going to like what they’d done next.

“And then what?”

“Er…” Roy makes his most innocent-looking face. “Well, he was definitely hungry, and didn’t have any dog treats, so we _may_ have borrowed a piece of ham from Havoc’s sandwich to appease him, and he jumped off the desk after that. But!” He holds up his finger in response to Hawkeye’s raised eyebrows. “I am quite sure Hayate understands that this was a one-time deal. We gave him a ten-minute lecture on why people food is usually not for dogs, and it seemed like he got the message.” The lecture had actually been about two minutes long, but ten minutes sounds much more impressive.

Hawkeye’s eyebrows are still raised.

“He barked in response,” Roy explains. “They sounded like understanding barks.”

Hawkeye shakes her head, but she’s slightly smiling again. “Well, good, because that’s the last bit of people food he’s going to be getting for a long time. At least you know what you did was wrong.”

“Yes, it was, and I am full of regrets,” Roy says. “Do you forgive me?”

“As you should be,” says Lieutenant Hawkeye. “But yes, I suppose I can forgive you this once. Even though it was a bit of a bumpy ride, thank you for taking care of Hayate. He still has a lot to learn, and you seem like you tried your best.”

Roy grins. “Hey, he’s part of our team now, which means he’s got all of our support. Even if he disrupted my paper-signing duties.”

“I’m sure he’s relieved to hear that,” Hawkeye says. “Besides, it was my fault for forgetting to give you the dog treats. Although you should’ve waited until _after_ he got off the desk on his own to give him the ham. He isn’t going to learn anything if you reward him beforehand.”

“Good to know, for when I inevitably watch him again and don’t screw up. No more treats unless it’s a reward. And no more people food ever.”

Hawkeye laughs, lips parting to show a smile. And damn, Roy really does like it when she laughs.

“You’re going to be a dog care expert in no time,” Hawkeye says.

Roy shrugs. “The dog does need to learn to take orders from me, though. If he’s part of the team, I’m still his superior. So when I tell him to get off the desk, he needs to _get off the desk_.”

“He’s not going to learn to take orders from you without some kind of initiative. It seems like all you did was reprimand him. He’s not going to earn your trust that way.”

“What if he doesn’t deserve an initiative? He knocked over my papers. If Second Lieutenant Havoc knocked over my papers, I wouldn’t give him food.”

“Yes, well, dogs learn differently than humans.”

“I've changed my mind regarding dogs. I no longer wish to hire them. Despite their lack of salaries."

That gets Hawkeye laughing again. She stops walking and scoops up Black Hayate, then holds the dog out and looks expectantly at Roy. “Come on, pet Hayate. Earn his trust.”

Roy narrows his eyes at Hayate. “You’ve caused me enough trouble today, there’s no reason for me to trust you,” he mutters. But Lieutenant Hawkeye’s still smiling at him, and Hayate’s still panting and looking up at him with those puppy eyes. Those admittedly cute puppy eyes.

_For fuck’s sake._

Reluctantly, Roy reaches over and scratches him behind the ears, and Hayate pants, looking pretty happy.

“There you go,” says Hawkeye. “See, he liked that.”

Roy moves his hand down to let Hayate sniff his fingers, and Hayate starts licking his hand. It’s not...the most pleasant experience, but if this is what’ll make the dog trust him, Roy’s willing to bite the bullet and deal with dog slime. He can wash his hands later. **  
**

Suddenly, the dog slime is replaced with sharp pain as Hayate chomps on Roy’s fingers. Roy instantly jerks his hand away.

“No, no, no,” Roy says, pointing his now-aching finger at Hayate. “Do not bite your commanding officer. That’s against military regulations.”

Hawkeye laughs. “We’ll work on it,” she says, putting Hayate down and continuing to walk.

“Please do, or I’m firing Black Hayate.”

“You can’t fire my dog, Colonel. You never hired him in the first place.”

Roy laughs and shakes his head as the two of them walk away from the office together. Sure, he still doesn’t trust that dog as far as he can throw him, but he’s grateful for the conversation topic he can have with Lieutenant Hawkeye. She’s laughing more, which is something Roy likes to see, even if she’s laughing at him most of the time. Hawkeye seems happier with Hayate around; maybe happy to have a companion to share her apartment with after work hours are through. And that’s something Roy can appreciate.

Of course, Black Hayate absolutely needs to learn to follow his orders, or the dog's out of the office. But that’s a mission for another day.

 


End file.
